"State Police are the leading cause of traffic congestion."

There, i said it. No disrespect to the boys in blue...but it's true.

I'm driving to work today on 283. Like normal, i'm zipping along with the flow of traffic at about 73 MPH. nothing crazy. No one's passing or going nuts. It's just a normal pack of cars zooming towards our common goal of "lancaster."

Suddenly a trooper comes down the exit ramp in front of us and starts driving along. He's just going somewhere, not pulling anyone over. But it doesn't matter.

The jackhole in the SUV in front of me slams the brakes like he's about to hit a busload of nuns and orphans...and then the guy next to me freaks out. The cruise control is off...the brakes are applied.

NOW we're all stuck doing 60...yes SIXTY in the left lane. THE COP IS ALREADY HALF A MILE IN FRONT OF US AND PULLING AWAY. HIS LIGHTS AREN'T EVEN ON! He doesn't even know we exist! We're so far behind him, i can barey see his car in the distance.

It's no use at this point. The drivers around me are spooked and start driving like it's Drivers Ed class and they're being graded. I'm sure they've got their hands on 10 and 2 on the wheel and are checking their mirrors every few seconds. This whole pack of spooked drivers proceeds to drive at a leisurely pace for the next few miles. I try to pass, but there's no opening.

So with idiots surrounding me, i proceed to pound my head softly off the steering wheel.

I need a helicopter for my commute, i swear.